Владимир Набоков "Неродившемуся читателю"
23/04/2025 05:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ты, старины любитель, в день урочный
откроешь антологию стихов,
забытых незаслуженно, но прочно.
И будешь ты, как шут, одет на вкус
моей эпохи фрачной и сюртучной.
Облокотись. Прислушайся. Как звучно
былое время — раковина муз.
Шестнадцать строк, увенчанных овалом
с неясной фотографией… Посмей
побрезговать их слогом обветшалым,
опрятностью и бедностью моей.
Я здесь с тобой. Укрыться ты не волен.
К тебе на грудь я прянул через мрак.
Вот холодок ты чувствуешь: сквозняк
из прошлого… Прощай же. Я доволен.
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha
22/04/2025 07:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I Have News for You
There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood
and there are people who don't interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.
There are people who don't walk past an empty swimming pool
and think about past pleasures unrecoverable
and then stand there blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians.
I have read about a town somewhere in California where human beings
do not send their sinuous feeder roots
deep into the potting soil of others' emotional lives
as if they were greedy six-year-olds
sucking the last half-inch of milkshake up through a noisy straw;
and other persons in the Midwest who can kiss without
debating the imperialist baggage of heterosexuality.
Do you see that creamy, lemon-yellow moon?
There are some people, unlike me and you,
who do not yearn after fame or love or quantities of money as
unattainable as that moon;
thus, they do not later
have to waste more time
defaming the object of their former ardor.
Or consequently run and crucify themselves
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha.
I have news for you—
there are people who get up in the morning and cross a room
and open a window to let the sweet breeze in
and let it touch them all over their faces and bodies.
--Tony Hoagland
*
...прошлое...
22/04/2025 04:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Когда-то дружить было проще. Они думали, что я мальчик, в интернете очень легко притворяться кем угодно, и мы все немножко лошади. Потом мы много гуляли, я замирала, но в первый раз у меня была компания, я кому-то нравилась, кто-то нравился мне, один человек говорит, что будет меня всегда защищать, и я верю, улыбаюсь в ответ. Мы все друзья, воздух звенит от свежести, с залива дует ветер, в этих днях очень много выцветшего голубого неба и непонимания, но искреннего счастья.
Потом ночью звонит телефон и мне говорят, что того мальчика, который обещал всегда защищать, вынули из петли, его больше нет. Я не верю в это ни капельки, вот мы же ехали в машине, сбившись в кучу на заднем сидении, он крепко держал меня за ноги, чтобы я не улетела на повороте. Но это правда, потом было очень холодно, изнутри всё замёрзло, у нас до этого был бессмысленный дурацкий роман с его другом, но после этого мы с ним просто вышли из автобуса в разные стороны, больше не виделись, я щелкаю пальцами сейчас "Манечка, Верочка... платье голубое, не помню, как его звали".
Куда-то делись целых два года, непонятно.
Там было много звёздной пыли, с каждым годом её становится всё меньше и меньше, облетает, я понимаю, почему женщины вокруг так любят носить одежду в стразах, блестках и пайетках, просто звёздной пыли больше нет, есть корпоративы, на которых надо обнимать потного менеджера, и сплошной туннель метро каждый день, безжалостное стекло напротив показывает стекающее лицо дали.
Операция
22/04/2025 01:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Длились, как и обещали, минут 15. И это было крайне неприятно и больно. Я думала, будет только неприятно(((
( Читать )
Оригинал записи на Дыбре
Well, how did I get here?
22/04/2025 09:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
What went before ONE: Aaaand, back. Home Despot only had part of what I wanted, but I did not go to Augusta. Instead I went to the new Reny's, which is awesome. I bought a plastic folding table for less than $10, which I can sit out on the deck with my chair and have a place to put my tea or my glass of wine, or even my sandwich. I bought olives and soup, and a pair of summer-weight Carhartt utility jeans. But that's not the Exciting Part.
The Exciting Part is that Reny's Heard Me and now has a Reny's Passport! You have to visit all nineteen Reny's in Maine, and get your passport stamped at each one, then submit it for a chance at the Grand Prize! They'll even return your passport after the contest is over.
I got my passport stamped at Waterville today -- only 18 more to go!
What went before TWO: And, I now need a Big Umbrella, because the little open-sided tent took two of us to put up -- and it wasn't easy, even with. So! I have something to shop for at the next Reny's on my list.
What went before THREE: I just spent some time breaking down a few of Winter's Boxes and getting them into the open recycling bin for delivery to the curb tomorrow. I do not think there is a movie on my schedule this evening. I have an Idea about What Happens Next in the WIP.
Time to fix lunch, eh?
What went before FOUR: Writing consisted of Staring into Space, and trying to figure out how to get lightly through a convoluted piece of business without boring myself to death. I think I've got it. Of course, I thought that earlier, too.
And, that? Is the afternoon/early evening report.
Everybody stay safe; I'll see you tomorrow.
Tuesday. Damp, but they say no rain. Trash and recycling, including the boxes I broke down yesterday, are at the curb.
Today's music is one of my favorites, "Once in a Lifetime," Talking Heads. One of the two major songs that Agent of Change was written to. There was a mini-commentary from one of the band members before Mr. Hunter put on the music, speaking to why this song was Talking Heads first Number One. Said bandmate's opinion was it had been the line, "How did I get here?" that sold it to the millions, and he may be right. All I know is that the line that sold it to me, for Val Con, was "My god. What have I done?" And -- bonus -- the muttering at the end about "and now a twister comes..."
I see the signs of a feline decorating aesthetic on and around my desk. Why, yes, that pen does look better under the adding machine; and the Kleenex box on the floor, angled against the wheels of my chair. Why didn't I think of this?
Breakfast coming up soon -- pb&j on a whole wheat English muffin. I have leftover pork, so I guess that's lunch in some form.
Today is partially about Moving Things for the Grand Arrival of the Washer and Dryer, tomorrow at an as-yet undetermined time. Also, I want to get some writing done.
I don't know if it works this way for anybody else, and, indeed, it only works this way for me some of the time -- but I have to hit a certain Mass of Narrative before I understand the structure that has to be imposed in order to have All of This, err, make sense. I know they tell you in English/Writing class that structure is one of the first things you determine. Bear in mind that, in class, they also tell you that you have to know the POV's motivation before writing Word One. Yes, if I roll my eyes any harder they will roll right out of my head, thank you.
So! Breakfast for me, coming right up.
What's coming right up for you?
Today's blog title brought to you, naturally, from The Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime"
EDITED TO ADD, because someone did ask: The other song Agent of Change was written to is was also from The Talking Heads, and it is, of course, "Life During Wartime," which is basically the plot of Agent of Change...
о счастье)
22/04/2025 02:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Прошлое -- ненадежное топливо. И она решилась , сказала -- хватит жить в пустоте. Он кивнул и , подхватив уже собранную сумку , вышел из квартиры. Будто и не было ничего , -- подумала она устало. Позвонила домой , подруге. О чем-то говорила , над чем-то смеялась -- впустую. Наладится , конечно , все наладится -- успокаивала , приводила себя в сознание. Месяца через два написала заявление : терапевты были нужны всегда и везде.
no subject
22/04/2025 11:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Мало кто знает, что перед строительством дома строители пытаются призвать песчаного червя. Если червь не приходит, то строить безопасно.
no subject
22/04/2025 06:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Ну вот и началось. Анестетик в глаз закапали, иголкой потыкали. Говорят, метки так ставили для позиционирования хрусталика. Пока не очень сыкатно. Хотя как я буду 15 минут с открытым глазом, это вопрос.
Оригинал записи на Дыбре
3 тысячи "на ресторан и пасхальные подарки"
21/04/2025 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
50 дней прошло
22/04/2025 05:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Пончо и платье для "Тоннера" (куклы формата 1/4; для сравнения - "Барби" - 1/6).
Фото не помню, чье. Возможно, Дайри-юзера Кэссэн ( https://kessan.diary.ru/ ).

no subject
21/04/2025 07:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
(i) the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act;
(ii) the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918;
(iii) the Fish and Wildlife Coordination Act of 1934;
(iv) the Anadromous Fish Conservation Act of 1965;
(v) the Marine Mammal Protection Act of 1972;
(vi) the Endangered Species Act of 1973
Сейчас у нас есть киты. Здоровенные заповедники. Полно разных птиц и рыбы. Понятно, что за 4 года много не уничтожишь, но что-то можно убить навсегда.
https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/04/zero-based-regulatory-budgeting-to-unleash-american-energy/?fbclid=IwY2xjawJzvchleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHv3oW_2MPbDO5VVsw5uIeIYyyCHrPDDsZJz3tcvnpeDYMvnJPNIpXL_o005i_aem_qJSmw9gqhRcUvTnLMQTYdA
this picnic is no picnic
21/04/2025 06:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
- So what are the odds we get an antipope this time in addition to a pope?
- Sepinwall gave season 2 of Andor a good review (minor spoilers, I guess) - the first 3 episodes drop tomorrow and it sounds like they are doing 3 episodes a week for 4 weeks, as each one comprises a mini-arc. Trying not to get spoiled on the internet is sure to be a nightmare.
- I haven't done the AO3 stats meme regularly since 2018 because not much changes in my top 10. In 2021, however, I made note of some up-and-comers in the 11-20 slots, and it turns out that as of 4/20/25, Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (i.e., the one where Dick convinces Jason to stop killing through the power of hugs) has crept into the top 10 by hits - it's number 9! (It looks like Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough) (the Steve/Bucky remix AU where Steve finds Bucky working as a barista) is the one that fell out of the top 10.)
Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc also made inroads into the top 10 by kudos, landing at number 5! Additionally, 2 Star Wars stories also found their way into the top 10 by kudos: There's Still Time to Change the Road You're On (in which Anakin time travels to the post-RotJ era and meets his kids) at 6, and deep as a secret nobody knows (AU where Leia tells Vader she's Padme's daughter and it changes everything) at number 8!
The 3 Avengers stories that dropped are again, Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough), plus Even a Miracle Needs a Hand (Clint/Darcy fake Christmas boyfriend), and with the lights out, it's less dangerous (Steve/Bucky, then and now).
According to these posts, I did not previously do the full list by comments, but I will note the appearance of deep as a secret nobody knows at number 3 on the comments list, and another Vader-and-Leia AU, Just a Little Bit of History Repeating, at number 10, with the VMars/Avengers crossover we travel without seatbelts on sitting pretty at number 7.
So I guess given enough time, these things CAN change.
- Today's poem:
Nothing Will Warn You
by Stephen Dunn
Nothing will warn you,
not even the promise of severe weather
or the threats of neighbors muttered
under their breath, unheard by the sonar
in you that no longer functions.
You'll be expecting blue skies, perhaps
a picnic at which you'll be anticipating
a reward for being the best handler
of raw meat in a county known
for its per capita cases of salmonella.
You'll have no memory of those women
with old grievances nor will you guess
that small bulge in one of their purses
could be a derringer. You'll be opening
a cold one, thinking this is the life,
this is the very life I've always wanted.
Nothing will warn you,
no one will blurt out that this picnic
is no picnic, the clouds in the west
will be darkly billowing toward you,
and you will not hear your neighbors'
conspiratorial whispers. You'll be
readying yourself to tell the joke
no one has ever laughed at, the joke
someone would have told you by now
is only funny if told on yourself, but no one
has ever liked you enough to say so.
Even your wife never warned you.
***